Campaign Season: The Worst Time of the Year


Well, we’ve done it. Another campaign season has come and gone here at Enloe. And now that it has, I think it’s important to discuss why it is the worst time of the year and why I shall be dreading the political nuisance’s return next year. 



1. THE SIGNS. I’m a small lady who comes in regular contact with elbows more than I’d care to admit for the sake of my dignity. This issue is in no way helped by the political signs being hoisted into the air of an already jam-packed, body odor-infested liminal space. I would vote for anyone who doesn’t march with their sign like they’re in an 1800’s mob with pitchforks and torches. Please, the signs are gargantuan -have they grown in the past couple years or have I shrunk?- and they must be put to rest, I beg of you.2.

2. The overall political hellscape that Enloe becomes is too much. It’s just- just too much. During national or local elections, it’s all well and good to be informed. But at a certain point, at least you can switch off your TV or firmly demand the dinner table to turn to lighter topics for matters of discussion. This doesn’t apply to school where everywhere you look is a reminder, from slogans written on the whiteboard to random pieces of glitter on hall tiles (okay, this one’s not so bad). The impromptu speeches to self-promote in the middle of class have been the only welcome disruptions.

3. The false pleasantries may be the worst part of it all. There are certain people who haven’t conversed with old familiar faces since middle school who, lo and behold, start buttering them up the millisecond they decide to run for office. And you know what? As a person easily susceptible to flattery, it begins to feel nice. Hm, you think. Why did we fall off? They seem so chill and genuine. AND THEN. You get slapped in the face with, “Oh by the way, you’ll vote for me, won’t you?” All small talk does is waste time and I personally probably am less likely to vote for you by the end of the conversation. 

4. Social media is flooded by Enloe propaganda and false promises – It’s nothing we haven’t seen before. Post after post, you’d think it was prom season except with arguably more to gain. How can I consume mindless Instagram content when my feed is full of poorly-made Canva graphics? And not even different ones, it’s usually like the same one reposted a dozen times. Let us be free, enough is enough.

5. At the end of the day, how much liberty can truly be given to a team of teenagers? How will they represent the Enloe student body? Is it who has the catchiest slogan or who has the most thought-out agenda to accomplish? Is the agenda even attainable? I won’t believe they hold any power until I see a gavel, dammit. Until then, the real question is who to vote for.



I hope you’ve seen my point and come to realize just how politically infested our school is. It’s a real bummer that the student body here at Enloe is filled with so much of this repulsive ambition. One of the biggest issues Enloe has yet to tackle is our sheer surplus of politically motivated people who feel the need to sweep up the entire school up in their education-disrupting campaigns. It doesn’t even teach us anything about the real world. The obsession has gone too far and I, for one, am extremely relieved Enloe can once more return to its blissful state of peace and serenity. Until next year, that is.