My Key to Your Kingdom

May I come in even just for a bit? 

You don’t have to engage with me. 

I just want to be a part of your kingdom.

As long as I’m visible I’ll be fine. 

 

I say that but I’m still too much of a coward to even insert my key in. 

I freeze up anytime it gets close to your door.

Not sure or understand why.

There’s no wall or barrier for me to break.

 

As pathetic as this sounds can you

Laugh at me,

Be mad at me,

Be annoyed by me,

Or smile at me? 

It does not matter as long as I can provoke any emotions within you.

I would be content with anything as long it comes from you.

Tears, fear, happiness, excitement,

I’ll happily accept anything from you.

 

You have given me your keys, 

Yet I hesitate to unlock your doors.

I wish my heart would tell me why

It stops beating anytime I get close.

I’m not breaking in or invading your space 

Since you placed the key in my hands.

Why is my body unable to comprehend that?

 

Oh please don’t pity me.

Not when you have so many others to attend to 

In your wonderful little kingdom.

It would be selfish of me to rob their time with you,

And it’s too cruel for me to have you come to my doors instead.

Who am I to burden you with the task of interacting with me?

Even so…

 

Can I laugh with you?

Smile at you, 

Celebrate with you,

Or cry on your shoulders?

Would it be too much to share my emotions with you? 

You don’t need to give me a happy ending. 

No matter where, or how often. 

As long as I am able to cherish my moments with you. 

 

Ah, I don’t understand why it’s so hard.

It’s a simple turn with a single click. 

Then you would open the doors, 

Happily welcoming me in,

With your arms being just as or more open.

The thought of that should flood my body with happiness. 

So why are my tears flooding me instead?

 

Drowning so often in my loneliness can’t be good.

Why don’t I allow myself to reach out?

Do I really want to drown forever?…

 

The sound of a click and a simple ¨hello¨ would do.

Right?

Just insert and turn

And now I’m in… 

Wait.

 

Hey, were you waiting?

How long were you silently suffering like this?

Not that it matters.

My heart weeps at the thought of someone sharing my feelings.

Even if it’s for a second.

Did you also believe it better to stay silent,

Afraid of pulling others down,

Drowning them with your emotions,

Burdening them with seemingly silly fears and insecurities?

Sounding needy or stupid,

Regardless of what you believe.

 

Let’s laugh, 

Smile,

Make memories.

Find the small little things that bring joy to our hearts 

Together!

My doors are always open.

 

What do you mean

I also often wait for others at my door?

How I shouldn’t hesitate to seek others.

Well saying that makes you a hypocrite 

But that’s fine, let’s be the biggest hypocrites.

Together!