College Board CEO David Coleman recently made the fatal mistake of searching ‘College Board’ on Twitter and faced a barrage of mean tweets from angsty teenagers who had fallen victim to the organization....
Crystal Leung, Graphic Designer & Publicist
• April 2, 2022
Eddie the Eagle, the beloved mascot of William G. Enloe High School, has a secret:
He’s an NFT.
“NFTs, or non-fungible tokens, are digital assets that don’t hold monetary...
The wildly popular lunch location Cookout has released a statement changing the hours for the New Bern Avenue location from the opening time of 10:30am to 1:00pm.
Cookout cited the change in hours...
Disclaimer: This is SATIRE. Everything in this article is false. Pixar is still a part of Disney and animators do in fact have social lives.
Counter Disclaimer: Ok, so that last part might be a lie,...
In the wake of a groundbreaking decision to remove all semester-long classes from the Enloe schedule, our administrators have posted a few updates to the course list for the 2022-23 school year. For your...
Andrea Duca, Creative Writing & Satire Editor
• April 1, 2022
In an era where the selfish 1% socioeconomic class of billionaires have worshipping fanbases, it’s time to bring back a true debonair man of the people, a Robin-Hoodesque symbol if you will. He will...
Hear ye, hear ye,
After many ages, the Enloe Eagle's Eye hath decided not to partake in April foolery this nigh.
By royal decree of monopolist Char and Duchess Gwen, satire of all forms is now banished...
Hey girl-queen! High school can be totally difficult and harsh sometimes. But don’t fret, little eagle, we’ve got what you need to know to not just survive, but avoid all possible adolescent embarrassment.
1....
It started at a football game. The cacophonous howling of students cheering for their school, full of academic pride, filled Eddie the Eagle’s ear-holes and rattled his skull. He’d been here a thousand,...
1. Motivational Poster
The Oregon trail comes with its ups and downs, but mostly downs. Carrying a motivational poster of this lovely cat will keep your spirits high and allow you to reach your goal,...
Disclaimer: Tread lightly with my boy, Joe, here, for he is very susceptible to slander and the Eagle’s Eye will not stand for it. Especially since Joe does not in fact exist and this is absolutely,...
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