PREFACE
written by chief publisher Dee F. Ine
Walking through Enloe’s entrance can feel like landing on an alien planet. Snippets of conversation fill the air, seemingly normal, but the words sound like a foreign language. Enloe Eagle’s Eye writers Bryan Wu and Maya Segal, in an attempt to increase the literacy of Enloe specific slang and acronyms, have compiled a list of commonly used terms and their definitions. Wu and Segal hope to make a difference for both new and returning Enloe students with their hand-crafted dictionary.
APES: An easy class for misbehaving freshman with a curriculum focused on etiquette and reform. Any students found to be “monkeying around” are strictly disciplined.
APUSH: As opposed to APULL, APUSH is what an Enloe student may say to show they are embodying the Enloe spirit and “pushing” themselves towards excellence.
AP HUGE: A blanket statement used to convey the immense pressure of an Enloe student’s class load. Often misconstrued as a single AP class, but in reality is a culmination of many.
EPF: Short for Enloe Personal Fixers, this class forces students to handle the finances for the campuses’ many repairs. Recently, many staff and students have been upset with the EPF class for poor management of the AC system, fire alarm system, and the water leaks from the ceiling.
ESO: A knock-off EOS moisturizer brand for the dry, neglected skin of overcommitted Enloe students. Quick and convenient to apply, this product magically rehydrates skin, but it won’t fix the burden of too many extracurriculars.
IB SPEX: The acronym for Smart Paper Express. This Enloe version of FedEx is run by International Baccalaureate students in need of too many service hours. These dedicated students do direct delivery of paper handouts from the copy machine straight to teachers’ rooms! Teachers, if you’d like to apply for this service, please visit sat.thisissatire.ire.
JROTC: Justice (Against) Rot Corps. Often seen training for their frequent fights against zombies, members of this club show their resolute will and determination to protect our school from biohazards. This club looks great on college applications.
Loe Down: Not to be confused with the Down Loe, this is the feeling students get upon entry into the lower levels of the Atrium. Loe Down is often related to the emotions of a prisoner trapped in a dungeon.
MUN: Short for MUNCH, this club explores international snack products. Country delegations are sent out on MUNdays and must be prepared and researched thoroughly by Fridays in time for the club’s meetings.
SKO EAGS: An example of the brain rot prevalent among Enloe students. Considering that these students take upwards of six AP classes a year, one would assume they have proper spelling, but alas.
SOAR: The expectation that Eagles must attend school regardless of health concerns, including symptoms such as a SOAR throat or debilitating muscle SOARness.
SpLit: The stretches performed in a typical dance class. There’s no other meaning. Enloe students really need to stop overthinking this one.
Tri-M: A musical scavenger hunt in which participants must continuously play all instruments they find. Locations include the deep end of the East Building pool, the running track, and the bike lane on New Bern.
WHAP: The sound of frustrated students and teachers alike. Students often use this when facing academic difficulties, while teachers say the word to gain the attention of unruly students.
NOTE FROM THE AUTHORS
Enloe students consider themselves highly intelligent individuals, and we pray that with these definitions, expectations are met. With this new knowledge in tow, we hope that Enloe students will encounter less confusion in daily school conversation. Try to incorporate these terms in everyday speech and provide us feedback at enloenews.org!
