Ah, winter… a calm, peaceful season. This time of year, with the winter holiday season on the horizon, one always gets nostalgic for childhood… Say, what did you love as a child? Do you find yourself tempted to revisit the Peanuts gang, or shows like Spongebob? Or maybe you were more into movies made for fashion dolls, like Barbie, or…
Wait. You just watched a Monster High movie? No. No, no, no, no. You CANNOT just WATCH a Monster High movie. What about the lore? The themes? The post-credit scenes? You’re so… simple, so uneducated!
Never fear, however, since I have such a generous soul. I shall enlighten you on the one correct, definitive way to watch the Monster High Cinematic Universe.
- Fright On (2011)
Fright On is a loose allegory for integration. It introduces one of the major themes of the franchise: anti-racism and highly questionable metaphors regarding it (see items 3, 5, 10, 9, and 12).
- Escape from Skull Shores (2012)/Friday Night Frights (2012)
Released on the same date in 2012, these two movies both contain lore drops- in flashbacks, we meet one of the women that was presumably grave robbed by Frankie’s parents in order to create her (Escape from Skull Shores) and the vital character Robecca Steam, a roller-derby star from the 1800s who had been killed and then revived by a 16 year old girl (but I guess it makes sense that a zombie would be good at necromancy?), is introduced (Friday Night Frights). No one in this universe respects the sanctity of death.
- Ghouls Rule (2012)
Heath Burns is racially persecuted by the human police (as in they try to kill him), after the human high school commits a racially motivated hate crime against Monster High while wearing monster masks. This particular racism allegory is either retconned or just made significantly more confusing, depending on who you ask, because we never see a human ever again in the series.
- Why Do Ghouls Fall in Love? (2012) (Optional)
This movie adds NOTHING to the expansive lore of Monster High, and therefore is a FLOP. Not even one cameo, and C.A. Cupid isn’t even relevant until way later when she transfers dimensions! (See item 12) Do the writers even care about the expansive lore and themes they’ve established?! Some people love to act like this movie was revolutionary because of that one gay vampire, but, like… I’ve read Dracula. A gay vampire is just a normal vampire.
- Ghoulfriends Just Want to Have Fun (2013), Who’s That Ghoulfriend? (2013), and Ghoulfriends til the End (2014)
Taking place shortly after the events of Scaris, City of Frights, (not lore-relevant) Rochelle, Robecca, and Venus fight against a secret, monster-racist cult. Said cult is responsible for the death of Robecca’s father. Think about the IMPLICATIONS! This will never come up again, but it’s still imperative that you know this and spend a couple of days reading these books before moving on. Plus, they’re pretty good educational material. Characters get murdered for speaking up against the underground elite controlling society, just like in real life!
- All of Ever After High (Legacy Day, True Hearts Day, Thronecoming, Spring Unsprung, Way Too Wonderland, Dragon Games, and Epic Winter, 2013-2016)
While you (foolish) might think this is an unnecessarily long detour in order to understand exactly two references made later on, I (based and intelligent) know this is absolutely VITAL content to understand the rest of the series. Trust me, I would never, ever lead you astray as the #1 MHCU expert. Besides, this introduces the HSM (High School Multiverse), and nothing is cooler and less overdone than a multiverse.
- 13 Wishes (2013)
Howleen Wolf, younger sister of main character Clawdeen Wolf, low-key starts a cult. However, the important part is Giles Grimm from Ever After High makes a cameo! See! You know who that is, because you spent seven hours watching that series!
- Frights, Camera, Action! (2014)
Even though this movie is about in-universe vampire lore, it’s clear that the writers don’t even CARE that Draculaura is adopted, and that her father was actually a 5th century human centurion that was killed in battle, not Dracula, as revealed in a 2012 Livestream and her Back To School diary, since that fact isn’t mentioned even ONCE. WHATEVER!
- Freaky Fusion (2014)
Main character Frankie Stein straight up dies in this one. Additionally, there is a monster metaphor for being biracial! What an installment! The Monster High Franchise displays a shocking disregard for the original Mary Shelley Frankenstein novel, as this Victor Frankenstein was an orphan and… I digress. Anyways, that’s why you don’t have to read that novel in order to understand the MHCU. The only reason. Really, I thought that you would have to read more classical literature in order to understand this series, but between this, Monster High’s Dracula being confirmed as a different one from Bram Stoker’s novel, and Jane Boolittle never showing up in the movies, you actually don’t have to read any!
- Haunted (2015)
Given the previous metaphors set up in this universe, one could interpret this movie’s plot as very strange, since all of the ghouls turn into ghosts (ghostface?). However, it’s by now been established that ghosts are allegorically white, so I think it’s… fine? Anyways, there’s a separate Ghost Dimension with a Ghost High School that is also an authoritarian government that chains its students up for centuries at a time.
- Boo York, Boo York (2015)
This movie is a musical! The existence of Boo York, along with locations like Scaris, Boo Goreleans, and Hauntlywood seems to imply an isolated monster version of most major cities. Is this an aspect of complex world building or bad puns for children? The former. Obviously.
- Great Scarrier Reef (2016)
Similarly to Haunted, this movie also features the main characters becoming a different type of monster- this time, sea monsters (who are, as established by Lagoona Blue’s relationship with Gil Webber, allegorically people of color, but we can gloss over that because this movie has NO RESPECT FOR THE LORE). This movie ignores a lot of previous continuity, and is the DOWNFALL of the MHCU. Excuse me, since when has Lagoona had stage fright? She’s always been portrayed as a fearleader, you DUMB-
Anyways, that’s as far as the first generation of Monster High goes. There’s more movies, but they were rebooted, and I refuse to accept any change at all. Mattel is lucky they decided to continue to release dolls and media in the style of the original because I will continuously give them money in exchange for nostalgia.
And that’s it! Your short, easy guide to the MHCU. Sure, the movies are mostly made to sell merchandise and aren’t really that deep, but just know that no one can EVER stop you from becoming deeply obsessed with a movie franchise, and that your love does, in fact, give you the right to tell other people that they’re enjoying fun movies made by massive corporations INCORRECTLY! So go out and give Mattel LLC. swaths of money, and remember to always, always, correct others loudly and pretentiously when they casually enjoy your favorite films.
