Blocks have been synonymous with fun since the dawn of time. Before we learn to walk, we play with blocks inscribed with the initial three letters of the alphabet, while the aged folk turn to digital blocks to pass the time. Tetris broke new ground in the gaming world in the 80’s with its pure new-age block-blasting madness, instantly cementing its name in pop culture for all time. But recently, a new foe has appeared, and it’s threatening Tetris’ title as the most addicting block game: Block Blast.
Andres Argument
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, consider Tetris blushing. There are mountains of games, copy-cat websites, and communities serving as monuments to the entertainment prowess that is Tetris. In my book, Block Blast is on the same tier as alphabet blocks for babies, and yet high schoolers are the only people playing it. This is the result of the app’s inexplicable 17+ rating on the App Store, which means the developers are allowed to show you inappropriate ads every time you lose. Does Tetris show you ads? Didn’t think so. professionals have standards.
The genius simplicity of Tetris has led to it being referred to as a “cognitive vaccine” by the Journal of Psychiatry and Neuroscience due to its ability to reduce intrusive memories when played directly after experiencing a traumatic event. Along with increasing hippocampal volume, science shows that playing Tetris results in an increase in the thickness of your cerebral cortex and brain efficiency. This shows that despite its age, Tetris more than holds up to its modern day predecessors by not only being fun, but by increasing your IQ with every block. Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure a screenshot of Block Blast is displayed as an example for the Oxford Dictionary 2024 word of the year.
Eleanor Argument
There’s no denying that Tetris is the OG block game, sure, but Block Blast is light years ahead of its gray haired, geriatric predecessor. Tetris was the best game…back when TV screens were boxy, and “high definition” meant adjusting the antenna. The world’s moving much faster now, and Tetris’s slow falling blocks just can’t keep up anymore. When Tetris first came out, it was exclusively playable on computers…do you really want to be that one person walking through the halls of Enloe with a chromebook in hand? Good luck doing that without having your picture end up on at least 20 other students’ camera rolls.
Block Blast truly cares about its dedicated players, but, unfortunately, the same can’t be said for Tetris. When you have to set aside the game for a few minutes to respond to a text, Block Blast is still there in the background, patiently waiting for you. It gives you time to think of a strategic move. Tetris, however, couldn’t care less about your needs or desires, if you’re busy, you’ll have to press the pause button, which blocks the entire screen so you don’t even get the opportunity to think about the move you’re gonna make when you resume. Tetris constantly demands your full attention or else you could face the dreaded “game over” screen. If Block Blast is the laid back friend who tells you to take your time, Tetris is the drill sergeant barking at you to hustle and keep it moving.
Even Jon S. Baird, the director of the practically unheard of movie made about the creation of Tetris, couldn’t manage to keep the attention spans of today’s audience. It’s a good movie, an exceptional one even, that is if you like watching fifty consecutive business meetings about the exact same subject take place back to back. No thanks. Not only that, but most of the Russian and Japanese words mentioned are embarrassingly mispronounced by the cast. It’s essentially a two hour love letter written to capitalism and American exceptionalism. You could half expect a jet full of bald eagles to glide across the screen while the national anthem is blasting in the background.
The evidence speaks for itself. When was the last time you saw someone playing Tetris in school, was it recent? Didn’t think so. Meanwhile, Enloe students have been spotted playing Block Blast at all times of the day, even while waiting in the lunch line.
Andres Refute
Block Blast is a baseless black box, on the other hand, Tetris holds a deep and nuanced history that you could spend an entire afternoon reading up about. They even made a whole movie about it with a story indisputably better than The Godfather, God bless America. Block Blast is merely a shallow rehashing of the tried and true, at this point, it’s valor highway robbery. Block Blast’s developers, Hungry Studios, have no information to glean, which is why they have to steal your personal information to make up for it. People who don’t read the Terms and Conditions are exactly their target audience. The gameplay is specially catered to mentally mobile app gamers. As for your audio, do not tell me you consider a man in your ear repeating GREAT, COMBO, GOOD as being on the same level of the timeless soundtrack of Tetris. Your ‘ASMR crunchy sounds’ sound more like they would’ve been blared on repeat at Guantánamo Bay.
As a society, we need to learn to respect our elders. The clutter and riffraff embedded in every element of gameplay is downright infantile, a choice reflected in its player base of babies. Tetris forged its legacy, a feat of blocky architecture that still stands today, much like the Roman coliseums. Block Blast is just another one of its shameless copies desperately trying to differentiate itself from the crowd, like a blonde girl getting bangs and prescriptionless glasses. You might need to get real ones, because you must be blind to not see how hypocritical it is to call the iconic falling blocks ‘slow’ when your blocks just stay still, waiting for a heart attack to end their streak. Your M.O. is four words, “Live fast, die fast”, a sentiment reverberated among the countless attempts of your predecessors of slop to dethrone the immortal king of blocks. Like them, you will fail, and nobody will remember you when the dust settles.
Eleanor Refute
Although Tetris may be the more notorious game, we all know the bigger the blocks, the harder they fall. Tetris, though groundbreaking for its simplicity, has become repetitive over the years. There have been countless remakes and variations since its initial release in 1984. It’s been the same concept over and over again, with little to differentiate one version from another. Block Blast is a blessing in blocky disguise, breathing new life into the video game equivalent of the grandma on your mother’s side that keeps on feeding you even after you’re full. Block Blast is a master class in moderation and innovation, the block game of the future, and if you don’t like it you can go back to Russia.
In the end though, it all comes down to personal preference. If you’re someone who prefers classic, timeless games, then continue sticking with Tetris. However, if you’re someone who seeks out the next-to-best thing, Block Blast is your guy.
