April Fool’s Day Disguises
Disclaimer: This is a work of satire, emphasizing the stereotypical traits of each grade level. The author acknowledges that Enloe students are not homogenous and that these qualities are not shared by every member of each grade.
With only a few months left in the school year, Enloe students tend to start feeling a little… restless. Freshmen begin dreaming of the years to come—what will it be like to be a sophomore? A junior? Or even… a senior? On the other hand, upperclassmen have a more nostalgic perspective towards high school’s youngest sibling. Sentimentally, they reminisce, “Remember the time before we were taking seven AP classes?”
Well, here’s the good news: April Fool’s Day, the prankster’s paradise, is right around the corner, and that’s the perfect time to disguise yourself as whichever grade you choose.
The Freshman
First, obtain a school-issued chromebook and its corresponding blue case. These are the most important pieces of your disguise. Secondly, remember that C&C is the iconic freshman class. If you name-drop The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, Romeo and Juliet, A Raisin in the Sun, AND Persepolis, no one will question your authenticity. Whenever you’re in the hallways, don’t forget to run… er, walk with purpose. If anyone has lingering suspicions, just complain about Healthful Living, or (if you’re really desperate) try comparing your teachers to the ones you had in middle school.
The Sophomore
As it is with freshmen, C&C is a safe topic for anyone trying to pass as a sophomore, but it’s essential that you name the right books: Born a Crime, Things Fall Apart, Purple Hibiscus, Siddhartha, Crazy Rich Asians, The Kite Runner, Night, Maus I, and Julius Caesar. (Upperclassmen, are you feeling nostalgic yet?) However, avoid mentioning all of these at once, as you may raise suspicion if you lay it on too thick. Additionally, be sure to stress over your next WHAP test, add to your annotated bibliography for AP Seminar, have a mental breakdown over the intricacies of chemistry, and scramble to finish your English annotations on the day that they’re due.
The Junior
APES. The very word—pardon, acronym—strikes terror into the hearts of Enloe’s eleventh-grade students. The homework, the labs, the projects, the tests… What a conversation starter! Once you’ve finished moaning and groaning, move on to your regrets over signing up for IB, your internal crisis over picking a topic for your extended essay, your panic over timed writing in AP Lang, and your latest grade in HOA. If you decide to be one of the unlucky souls who continued AP Capstone, add in how all of your data for AP Research is inaccurate. Plus, if you get tired of complaining, you can always humble-brag about finally earning your driver’s license.
The Senior
Being a senior is about far more than your height. Focus on perfecting the facade of effortless nonchalance, with anxiety about your college applications and IB exams simmering just beneath the surface. (Recommendation: flaunt to everyone how UNC is your safety school, but keep it on the low.) Also, don’t forget to complain about the final exam exemption policy, show up late to just about every class, and bring multiple bags of off-campus food with you after coming in (late) from lunch. And you can always casually mention the club that you’re officially the president of but never have enough time to participate in…
General Advice
People will assume that you’re in the same grade as the people you surround yourself with, so whichever disguise you’re attempting, make sure to find a group of students from that grade who you can subtly hang out with (emphasis on subtly). If you have no idea what they’re talking about, just nod along and follow the tips listed above. Who knows, you might even pick up on some new techniques!
However, there is some bad news: April 1 is during Spring Break. On the other hand, our first school day back (April 7) was originally a teacher workday, which sounds like an April Fool’s Day joke of its own. So if you’re interested in an April Fool’s Day disguise, just go for it, regardless of what the calendar says. Your inner prankster will thank you!
