Who is the Greatest Batman? A Tussle Reveals the Answer


Lego spectators in Lego Gotham viewed a crazed giant masked man cosplaying our very own Lego Batman making a trek to Lego Wayne Manor this past evening. The mysteriously large man was found by the gates of the manor, bellowing for a tussle with Lego Batman. Lego witnesses say “It was like nothing I had ever seen. He must have been 49 Lego people tall. He claimed he was the best Batman the likes of which we had never seen before. Well, he’s in Legotown now. He’s just asking for a Lego scuffle!” And a Lego scuffle he got.

By nightfall Lego Batman had emerged, defending his title. The two Batmans took their dispute to the streets. While the non-Lego of the Batmans towered over him, Lego Batman was far from afraid. Lego observers reporting the initial onslaught began with the humongous stranger to be lifted and shaken vigorously, disorienting the enemy. The malicious stranger was said to be taken down numerous pegs, the deterioration of his ego visible in his eyes to passersby. A Lego crowd gathered at the one-in-a-lifetime event. At one point, Lego Batman even supplied the masked man with a Lego bazooka just to level the playing field. It seems, he was still no match. He was thrown every which way in a matter of minutes. The takedown was brutal and ended with a spectacular finale. The Real Batman then released a series of tiny fist frenzies towards the assailant’s head, veritably concussed. Our brave Lego Batman seemingly took mercy on the man, scaling the giant’s forehead and applying a gentle Lego kiss.

What seemed to be an act of kindness became a ploy of psychological warfare when Lego Batman and his Lego mob unmasked the stranger to be none other than FKA Twigs’ Ex. Many questions emerged, most notably “Why was he beefing?” FKA Twigs’ Ex has had a pattern of perplexing behavior in years past, once asking his stalker to dinner. Due to the sheer amount of his complaining during the outing, his stalker quickly lost interest. He is also reported to perpetually smell like crayons. We can conclude that this man is absolutely so odd and this was just the most recent in his eccentric exploits.

After the reveal of the delinquent, millions of Lego citizens carried his limp behemoth of a body to the Lego Batcave. There, his punishment was live broadcasted to the entire Lego world. He was slowly lowered in a vat of daunting and bubbling liquid where he emerged a Lego Lego-man. He was now cursed to a life as a Lego child’s plaything. Goes to show, no one messes with our Lego Batman. A skirmish is guaranteed to ensue.