“I’ve been getting home late every day for weeks, and I haven’t seen a dollar more in compensation,” complained Steve, a 36-year-old fire alarm working in Enloe’s West Gym Lobby.
Over the past few weeks of this school year, more and more Enloe fire alarms have begun to speak out in protest of the massive increase in alarm soundings.
“When I agreed to get paid $4.51 an hour, I agreed to be pulled at most once per week. This recent increase in our workload is outrageous,” agreed Amber, a fire alarm laboring part-time in Enloe’s auditorium bathroom while working towards a Master’s degree in Directing and Theatrical Production.
That’s why the 1900s fire alarm, Jimmy, has formed the WGEGTIBMCFTHSATAFAWU (William G. Enloe GT/IB Magnet Center for the Humanities, Sciences and the Arts Fire Alarm Workers Union). “I have worked this job and loved this job for sixty years, but despite increasing inflammation and hours, we haven’t seen a penny more in pay since 1962. I’m struggling more and more by the day to even feed my three children, Ash-ley, Cinder-ella, and Siren-ity, and I know many other fire alarms share these same grievances. That’s why I am proud to be the president and founder of the WGEGTIBMCFTHSATAFAWU.”
“I’m pleased to join Jimmy, and I can’t wait to get to work for my fellow fire alarms,” said Lois, the WGEGTIBMCFTHSATAFAWU’s vice president. “We have worked too hard and too long for our children to have less labor rights than our parents.”
On the matter of the fire alarm pull causes, president and founder Jimmy exclaimed, “Vaping, mishaps, pulls, water systems, whatever. Quite frankly we’re just done. Like seriously, it’s gotten bleeping crazy y’all.”
“We’re seeing a consistent increase in both necessary and unnecessary alarms, and time and time again, the wages stay the same. We cannot support ourselves, and to demonstrate against this injustice, the WGEGTIBMCFTHSATAFAWU has organized a fire alarm walk out,” Lois declared. “We all are going to put on fire alarm crop tops and fire alarm march out to the fire alarm field using our five fire alarm legs.”
Attendance is expected to be pro-fuse.
“Yeah, I’m going. I’m heated!” shouted John, the 1800s fire alarm.
“Beep… Beep… Beep,” agreed the smoke detector in Enloe’s long lost 3100s hallway.
A few fire alarms are not interested in attending the protest, such as the 2200’s fire alarm, Hubert, who remarked, “I just don’t feel like it. I have no spark in me.” On behalf of those that are planning to attend, Jimmy and Lois have stated, “We are also burnt out, but our spirits are ignited. That is exactly what this protest is about! Show up if you can!”
The exact demands of the fire alarms are still being discussed by the WGEGTIBMCFTHSATAFAWU, but ultimately, they’re looking for at least $6.70 an hour in pay, an at least 50% reduction in vape-induced alarms, and a minimum 25% reduction in all other alarms.
“We will not stop screaming out for what we believe in until our demands are met,” declared Lois. “We need action, and we need it NBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP.”
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