Aries
Your baby bangs are going to ruin your life
Do
Baby carrots
Bobs without bangs
Striped sweaters
Dont
The Weeknd
Weird shirts
Bangs without bob
Taurus
A glorious partnership with Ariana Grande will move you emotionally and spiritually.
Do
20 dollar tank tops
Blue Dorito chip
Laughing at your own jokes
Dont
Dumpster diving
Dorito chip of the red and purple persuasion
Sheep not wearing scarfs
Gemini
Your tea will be clocked. Count your days.
Do
Leftovers
Film cameras
Pretentiousness
Dont
Owning the digital camera
3 dollar tank tops
Free shipping
Cancer
Calamari will find you with spicy marinara sauce in tow
Do
Zelle
Watercolors
Cillian murphy
Dont
Fed-ex
Gossip
Pockets
Leo
Your socks are really cute.
Do
80s man jackets
Beef (raw)
Pink birds
Dont
Mad cow disease
Sad white men & boys
Parrots
Virgo
Silver earrings do no favors for you, try out copper.
Do
Sheeps wearing hats
Bread (sliced)
Purple candles
Dont
Cash
Credit
Debit
Libra
You will find yourself in front of an audience soon, you will fly!
Do
New sheets
Reflection via collage
Rats
Dont
Pillows with feathers inside them
Glue in liquid form
Ego clashes with rodent like creatures
Scorpio
A man with a horse for a head will find you, he wants you to know your UPS package as arrived at the warehouse and cannot be delivered due to incomplete address information.
Do
Confirm your address in the link within 12 hours
Schedules & Alarms
Rosegold
Dont
Plain, regular, ugly gold
Playing your hands close to your chest
Privacy
Sagittarius
Your lunch experience will be severely amplified
Do
Those sandwiches with sprouts in them
Little green peas
Frozen arugula
Dont
Bowling
Hardwood floor
Pinenuts
Capricorn
God will show his glorious hand to you, in a flourish all will be revealed. Until then…
Do
Checking your watch in an overly performative way
Glasses with clear frames
(Previous “do” omitted to hold space for the lyrics of Defying Gravity)
Don’t
Chammolille
Chammomille
Chamoililiile
Aquarius
That tree you are worried about in your front yard is waiting for you to stand directly underneath it
Do
Hard hat
Those neon vests
Brown bagged lunches
Don’t
Saws, axes, etc, etc
The phrase “resonate”
Wham!
Pisces
Salmon pink is YOUR color
Do
Red undertones
Orange terracotta pottery
Buttercups
Dont
Tennis balls
Blue eyeshadow
Grapes
