Second semester is a time of naught but doom and despair, where your comfy, beautiful bed seems far more appealing than the idea of attending your classes.
Unfortunately, we must attend our classes, even if we’re sleepy. However, there is a solution to these problems.
You could get more sleep, sure, but then where will your precious doomscroll time go? No, an early bedtime is a fruitless endeavor. The true answer is the loudest music you’ve ever heard. If you can still feel sleepy after listening to this playlist, you might want to seek out a narcolepsy diagnosis.
Please note that they are listed alphabetically, not by volume. Also, these are all school appropriate, so you can play them in front of your parents if you must.
All I Wanted – Paramore
WAS YOUUUUUUAAAAAAOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Applause by Lady Gaga
One of those songs that could revive someone who had died in real life.
Bang Bang by Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj, and Jessie J
These were the three loudest women alive at the time, and “Bang Bang” is three straight minutes of full power belting.
Cool for the Summer by Demi Lovato
Listen, the 2010s were just the time for a girl to be yelling.
Dirty Diana by Michael Jackson
The LOUDEST JACKSON!
Eruption by Van Halen
Every Van Halen song is just “Women are so hot (EDDIE VAN HALEN PLAYS EVERY GUITAR NOTE AT THE SAME TIME).” Eruption cuts out the middleman and is just Eddie Van Halen playing every guitar note at the same time.
Every song Celine Dion has ever sung.
They’re all loud. I can’t choose.
Free Bird by Lynrd Skynrd
FLYYYYYYYYYYYY HIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FREEEEEE BIIRDDD YEAH (insert the loudest guitar solo ever written here).
Hotel Room Service by Pitbull
Please do not play this at the hotel, motel, Holiday Inn. You will receive a noise complaint.
I Love It by Charli XCX
It’s hard to believe that she kept making even louder music after this.
I’m Every Woman by Whitney Houston
And she has the volume of all 4 billion of them. Happy women’s history month.
Kill This Love by BLACKPINK
This song genuinely sends me into fight or flight. Sirens are involved. BLACKPINK is in your area, and they are approaching your location at rapid speeds.
Lady Marmalade by Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, Mya, and P!nk
Another song that’s just multiple female artists at full blast. Excellent listening experience.
Love on Top by Beyonce
She’s gotta put his love on top (at the top of her lungs).
Midnight Sun (Super Loud) by Zara Larsson
Girl, it’s in the name. Blasting this in your car feels sorta like a full-body massage because of just how boosted this bass is.
Numb by LINKIN PARK
Not as much of a hype song as the rest of this list, but by jove is it loud.
River Deep, Mountain High by Ike & Tina Turner (Glee cover)
Tina Turner had a PHD in loud music. Glee took an already loud song and somehow made it louder. My oh my!
Rock You Like a Hurricane by Scorpions
You’ll be rocking the vehicles around you due to sheer volume.
Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl by Chappell Roan
You know what they say: never waste a morning drive on a quiet song.
That’s My Girl by Fifth Harmony
It’s like if you gave a bunch of cartoon geese human forms and a brief education on music theory.
You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) by Dead or Alive
You can’t have cowbells and synthesizers in the same song without being loud.
I tried to include a range of genres, but my bias towards girl pop does show through. However, there are loud songs in every kind of music under the sun, and I encourage you to keep looking, keep listening, and keep blasting your tunes to start your day out RIGHT.
