LOCAL SCHOOL PURCHASES THE EAGLE’S EYE!!!!
Breaking: “Mid” Eagle’s Eye Acquired by Local “Hi” School Newspaper, the Broughton Hi-Times AND THEIR TOTALLY COOL MASCOT THAT IS NOT “PURPLE ELMO”
Termination letter drafted by JJ Reiling, Akshacrates Roussadav
Articles:
We, the new Eagle’s Eye under our new supervisors will now be suspending all articles on any Enloe Prom festivities as our parent company is “above that.” We will be running all opinion articles through a board to avoid polarization, taking a stance against any unnecessary free thought. Also, we cannot be funny anymore. RIP Satire section. If you hear anything about a missing Andrea Duca, no, you didn’t.
Graphics:
Due to the quality of the parent newspaper’s graphics, all of the Enloe Eagle’s Eye graphic editors and designers have been fired and “escorted” out of the city by our totally not suspicious posse of five burly men. We may or may not pray for the safety of designers: Maya, Akshat, Ariel, and Crystal.
Ad-Space:
Due to the profits of the Eagle’s Eye (which totally exist) being taken by our new, gracious overlords, we have sold ad-space to Enloe Memes until we can buy back our organization…
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(He/him)
Akshat is a senior here at Enloe. He is excited to return for his third year on the staff to work on the Eagle's Eye's newest (and best) section,...
(She/her)
Maya Spencer is a senior and this is her second year on the newspaper. When she's not singing with chorus or Crescenloe, you can find her...
