Valentine’s Day: the one day of the year that Hallmark, kisses, and Kleenex are bound to be successful. Everyone knows that this day can be a whirlwind of emotions for those in high school. Everywhere you look, there are people on dates, Singing Valentines, others crying, and inevitably even breakups. But worse, physical altercations are at bay.
To commemorate the eventful day, Raven Black, senior at Heartbreak High, reported to The Eagle’s Eye that she and her new boyfriend, Chad Smith, would be having a double date with his sister, Mary Kate, and her new boyfriend, whom Raven had not yet met. The reported violent incident happened soon after all parties gathered in the lunchroom.
Transcribed from a video taken from a nearby table, the shouting started around noon on the 14th as Raven saw Johnny approach with Mary Kate. Raven can be heard yelling, “What are YOU doing here?” The conversation escalated as Johnny raised his voice, “ME? What are YOU doing here?”
Sources report that Johnny and Raven had previously dated for four years, then broke up. This news came as a shock to Chad. “FOUR YEARS? How did I not know about this?” Raven followed, “‘Cus I don’t like talking about TRASH.”
As the conversation progressed, tension rose between the couples. “Excuse me??? You can’t call my boyfriend trash–” Mary Kate yelled, but was cut off by Raven, “Well, compared to my amazing, handsome, cutie boyfriend, he is. I love him so much.” Chad, clearly stunned in the footage, asked, “You LOVE me?” Raven replied, confidently, “As a matter of fact, I do. What about you two, are YOU in love like us?” Johnny, picking up his food, shot back, “Uhhh… We’re leaving. Come on, Mary Kate.”
From lunchroom interviews following the fight, The Eagle’s Eye gathered that witnesses took this behavior to be typical and assumed this would all blow over by the next class. Unfortunately, that was not the case.
According to our exclusive interview with Raven, the next factor in the incident was Ms. Price, “[that] meddling teacher who was really just trying to instigate, ready to put her matchmaking to work.” Raven emphasized that she just “hate[s] people who stir up unnecessary drama.”
From later administrative reports, it is known that Ms. Price had paired Raven with Johnny and Chad with Mary Kate in their chemistry lab. While Ms. Price truly had “her pupils’ best interests at heart,” she was not up to date with the recent couplings of the students.
An anonymous tip reported that something “suddenly” spilled in Johnny and Raven’s experiment. As chaos broke out, Chad “mistook the lapse in lab safety as Johnny’s lame excuse to prove he could rescue Raven and get her back.”
Ms. Price reported that Chad rushed over and took a big swing at Johnny. She quickly tried to break up the fight that broke loose.
Raven, finishing her interview with our reporters, updated us on the aftermath. “That jealous freak! I broke up with him that night. I am done with men [for at least another week].” That evening, students went home “bruised, heartbroken, and lonely,” according to administration.
Watch out for upcoming coverage on the night of prom. The Eagle’s Eye will preemptively have reporters on the lookout for the latest Heartbreak news.
