What Role to Play

What+Role+to+Play

Everyone plays a role

In this movie called life.

Yet I can’t seem to find

My role.

 

Perhaps I am not meant for any

Role.

Background character?

No, that doesn’t seem right.

Is my presence even significant enough

To take up space?

 

The supporting cast?

That can’t be right either.

That would suggest that

Someone desires

My support.

 

The main star?

Definitely not.

What would I offer 

To the story?

 

People want an

Inspiring story.

See someone rise 

Despite all of life

Throwing nothing but

Sticks and stones.

 

Not a person 

Aimless wandering around,

Attempting to play 

The leading role.

 

Cameraman.

That best describes me

Wouldn’t it?

My body is a mere vessel

There to capture everyone else’s

Movie.

 

Just takes one or two looks

For me to forever immortalize

Faces, hopes, dreams, and struggles 

Into my mind.

 

Soon enough I’ll be able to tell

Their role.

The movie they strive for.

The supporting cast they have. 

The struggles and

How they plan to overcome them.

Even the words toss in the air

Not intended for anyone to pick up.

 

I’ll hear since that is my role.

To capture everyone else’s 

Grandest moments, 

Downfalls, 

Or mundane scenes.

Each day I wonder how 

Everyone is going to perform, and

How they’ll fulfill their star role today.

I hope for my lens to capture it all.

 

Am I satisfied with this role?

Yes.

After all, no role means

No story,

No pressure to impress,

No stress at achieving a happy ever after.

 

At times my own body feels foreign

With my lens being the only part that works

And my mouth being useless at spewing my thoughts.

 

Though if I need to feel alive

I’ll just replay someone’s movie 

In my mind

And have their emotions

Become mine.

 

A camera captures

A moment,

An emotion,

And encapsulates it

Forever.

No need to have its own

Emotions.

 

Despite this fact,

My heart is swelling with

Something.

Especially when viewing others’ smiles and laughter.

But what is it?

What’s tugging at my heart?

 

“Which role are you going to play?”

I suddenly asked myself.

But no, no this isn’t right.

I’m not cut for anything else.

What a pointless question.

Yet it lingers in my mind—

Do I desire more?

 

Watching everyone play their part

Makes me wonder if I should give myself a role. 

Life was given to me for a reason, 

Wasting my own story

Just to live through others

Doesn’t seem right either.

 

Can I focus my lens 

On me?

Can I even remove my lens

After keeping them on for so long?

When and why did I place them?

 

Even if I removed them 

I don’t know what to do

Or what I’m doing.

But then again even the best actors and actress

Go off script and still are able

To make a great movie.

A little improvisation

Never harmed anyone.

Right?

 

Even if the script isn’t in my favor,

It’s not over yet.

I’ll just rewrite the finale 

And break off my lens.

 

I’ll follow my heart.

No need to capture others.

No more yearning to feel their emotions.

I’ll find my own

And allow myself to finally play the leading role.