On Monday, January 26th, 2026, the CDC released an official advisory warning about a mysterious breakout in local high schools dubbed “Senioritis.” Not much is known about the disease so far, but experts say that the effects could be on par with other historical epidemics, such as Yellow Fever, Smallpox, and Polio. Left unchecked, this new outbreak poses a severe threat to the senior population of William G. Enloe High School.
Here is everything that you need to know.
Causes
Senioritis has been reported to be caused by a prolonged exposure to academic stress, college application season, and the sudden realization that graduation is “inevitable.”
It should be noted that Senioritis does not appear to be contagious across grade levels. Instead, symptoms are spread from individual to individual across the senior class. This can be seen in simple conversations between, beginning with, “You down for skipping fourth period today?” The CDC warns seniors to stay vigilant, as even close friends can rapidly become vectors of infection.
Symptoms
There are many clues to identifying Senioritis, so be sure to recognize them before it’s too late.
Beginning with physical symptoms, having a severe allergic reaction to opening Canvas is a sure sign that an individual has been afflicted with the disease. This can include a rash breaking out on their fingertips, limiting their ability to type out their online assignments. This, in turn, gives them a reasonable excuse for not doing their work. Additionally, binging reality TV shows into the early mornings of a school night is a clear sign of Senioritis—the release of a new season of Love Island is sure to result in mass populations of seniors falling asleep in AP Lit.
Most notably, Senioritis has the unique ability to turn a hardworking student into a “bum.” The CDC defines the term “bum” as someone who avoids work to leech on others. The reason why such students can transform into bums is simple: the unwavering pursuit for a simple existence during their last semester. Students can easily turn into a bum with a seemingly small request for homework answers due from weeks ago, working against the clock of NAA deadlines.
A recent observational study completed by an AP Research student indicates that our senior bums congregate the most in the senior parking lot of the school. They can often be seen throwing leftover Bojangle’s at each other’s cars and only exercise their critical thinking skills when deciding whether they should skip class to loiter at the Fellowship Raleigh Church.
Prevention/Risk Factors
Students are considered to be “high-risk” if they are enrolled in 5-8 AP classes, taking several dual enrollment classes per semester, involved with multiple organizations, or are applying to more than 15 colleges. These risk factors can easily be preventable in order to avoid burnout. Burnout is easily the biggest contributing factor to the development of Senioritis.
Additionally, Senioritis doesn’t only come from academic exhaustion. With the arrival of the colloquial “second semester slump” comes a dangerous combination of prolonged Instagram Reel scrolling sessions, a disregard for Enloe’s phone policy, and lazy behavior.
As motivation declines, deadlines, homework, and assignments become less prioritized, and the phrase, “I can just do it later,” soon becomes every infected senior’s daily mantra.
Prognosis
Experts have indicated that the prognosis on Senioritis is generally favorable. While patients of Senioritis experience a severe decline in motivation, it is strangely followed by immediate recovery right after the graduation ceremony in June.
It cannot be certain that relapse won’t occur. Since most seniors are planning on seeking higher-level education, it’s only a matter of time before these students become seniors for a second time. Further research is needed, but current trends indicate that Senioritis can occur all throughout a person’s life up until they finally become a senior citizen.
When Should I Seek My Healthcare Provider?
Worried about catching Senioritis? Luckily for you, Enloe is home to the only Medical Bioscience Academy in the county! There is no one more capable of saving you than these career-oriented future medical professionals.
And most importantly, your dear author is more than willing to step in for the sake of your well-being. That is why I have taken the time to set up a support group via Remind to hold you accountable on your deadlines in real-time. You can join the classroom with the code @SaveOurSeniors26.
