America Runs on Dunkin’. You Should Too

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“America runs on Dunkin’.” That phrase is much more than figurative; with plans to expand to 15,000 locations by 2020, it is as literal as it is patriotic. But that celebrated four-word line represents much more than a donut company.

Dunkin’ is personal to me. Despite my present veganism, I was a voracious consumer of donuts up until my first rejection of animal products. Whether it be on family trips, pre-concert rituals, or a quick pick-me-up, Dunkin’ remained a reliable source for cold brews and Boston Kremes for years. 

That is the first reason to believe in Dunkin’: reliability. You will never come across a Dunkin’ that does not have donuts or coffee that will satisfy every need of your party at any given time. On a diet? Have a munchkin. In the mood for something savory? Chomp down on a multigrain bagel. Lactose intolerant? Drink an almond milk latte (you’ll want a large). All of Dunkin’s 70+ donuts contain no artificial dyes, a variety Krispy Kreme cannot claim. The latter, inferior chain is also void of any breakfast items besides donuts, so unless your palate exclusively consists of donuts, you’re not likely to find much at KK; Dunkin’ is to connoisseur as KK is to dilettante.

Besides the obvious dichotomy in donut supremacy, let’s address the white elephant in this argument: coffee. Regardless of your donut affiliation, Dunkin’s coffee is almost objectively better in every sense of quality, taste, and variety. Many would argue that the Dunkin’ v. KK argument shouldn’t involve coffee at all; this is about donuts, after all. But to argue one donut chain to another without taking note of its coffee is like comparing burger chains without analyzing their fries. Coffee is an essentially complimentary beverage to donuts; it mutually enhances flavor and undertones that can go unnoticed without its presence. Ergo, it is essential that we analyze Dunkin’s coffee.

Selling nearly 60 cups of freshly brewed coffee every second, Dunkin’ clearly dominates the beverage. Fresh coffee at Dunkin’ is brewed at least once every eighteen minutes; they ensure a robust flavor in every iced coffee by doubly brewing every batch; three different blends, twelve different flavor shots, four flavor swirls, and four different dairy (and non-dairy) add-ins all make up the potential combos of this beverage. The well-acclaimed beverage is so highly regarded that 14% of coffee-drinking Americans (including myself) consume from Dunkin’ over other coffee houses like Starbucks or Caribou. KK simply does not have this reasonably-acquired coffee cult following.

If there is one reason to be thankful for the influx of Yankee expats in the Triangle, it is Dunkin’. Dunkin’ is a classic, an establishment that brings joy and caffeine to millions of Americans in the early hours of our mornings. Whether you start your metabolism with a French Cruller or caramel macchiato, there is every reason in the world to understand why America runs on Dunkin’ (and not Krispy Kreme).