Is there life after death? Are we alone in the universe? What’s the cure for cancer? Are zodiac signs real? All questions science still can’t answer, but today, I will. The answer… is yes. To all...

WHAM’s Last Christmas. The unofficial anthem of the holiday season. On these holy, snowy weeks, you can’t enter a store, turn on the radio, or doomscroll on any app without the voice of George Michael...

The author of this article had been awake for several weeks under the influence of a copious amount of caffeine, writing the following block of text in just under two minutes. The following may prove disturbing,...

  According to various studies conducted by The Merriment Multiverse, it is scientifically proven that I, Arpita Jampana, can determine what your favorite holiday says about you. Continue reading...

  Aries Your baby bangs are going to ruin your life Do Baby carrots   Bobs without bangs  Striped sweaters  Don't  The Weeknd Weird shirts  Bangs without bob   Taurus A...

Ah, winter… a calm, peaceful season. This time of year, with the winter holiday season on the horizon, one always gets nostalgic for childhood… Say, what did you love as a child? Do you find yourself...

Last week, Jacqueline “Jenius” Jordan announced her retirement with the unveiling of a cutting-edge artificial intelligence system that she states will run the school just as well as she did, that...

On the morning of November 25, 2024, two turkeys, Christopher LeBlanc and Trudy Price O’Neil, were chosen by President Biden as finalists for this year’s annual Thanksgiving turkey pardon. The National...

Dear Enloe student body,   It has become apparent to us, the staff of Enloe’s Eagle’s Eye, that you have not been utilizing the full capacity of our high school to find the best path to...

Parents and teachers of Enloe, I understand the pain in every misunderstanding. The language of today is practically alien as the future endlessly encroaches on the sanctity of our oldhead world. But just...

PREFACE written by chief publisher Dee F. Ine Walking through Enloe’s entrance can feel like landing on an alien planet. Snippets of conversation fill the air, seemingly normal, but the words sound...

*Satire* Come one, come all to the "Eagle's Ear," where gossip gurus Jonah Yinger, Nora Gillett, Jadon Frank, and Elizabeth Sobel unpack your craziest confessions and indisputably solve your juiciest...